My foster mom is a broken record.

"Rufus, you need to look FORWARD when you walk, or else you're going to keep slamming headfirst into poles."

"Rufus, you need to pay attention or else you're going to fall into that hole again."

"Rufus, you need to stop walking backwards or else you're going to hurt yourself, and you don't have many more teeth to spare."

Pretty pretty pretty.

So, there has been a lot of talk all about ME on the blog. I mean, DUH, it is a blog about all the stuff I LOVE, {and we all know I'm AWESOME so all the things I LOVE are awesome} but since I've been laying low these last few days*, I wanted to take a minute to talk to you guys about a really special little girl.

Her name is Tay, and my foster mom will not shut up about her. She is pretty much all she has talked about since she got home from the shelter yesterday. Apparently she is "gorgeous" and "kind" and her "dream dog"** and "looks like a fox...no a BEAR FOX" and is "snuggly" and "adorable" and all this other nonsense.

She was surrendered to the shelter with FOUR other dogs who all looked like her, all shepherd/chow mixes {two breeds my foster mom "desperately loves"}. She was brought in for some dumb reason like her former "family" had a baby or some other nonsense. The other dogs were bigger than her, but she is a really tiny adorable thing, only like 35 lbs. She gets along great with other dogs, and used to live with cats, and loves people and is very calm and quiet and sweet.

There was a really awesome adoption event this weekend at the shelter and 58 cats and 32 dogs (dudes. SO. AWESOME.) were adopted by really amazing families, even her four brothers! But, for some reason, Tay was not.

If you want to show people her Petfinder page, it is here. If you know anyone who is interested in her, either email the shelter volunteers at the address provided on her Petfinder page, or head down to ACCT asap. Please tell your friends and family about her, too, because she needs a really great home, and for some reason my foster mom keeps thinking it should be ours. {I took a poll, and while my foster mom and foster dad seem to think it is a good idea to take her home, Rollie, Opus and I DO NOT. So, if anything, do it for me.}

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*Oh, you didn't hear? I got neutered. I KNOW. Unbelievable. I'm still reeling a little from the shock. Care packages in my honor can be sent to me via my foster parents. I accept all manner of gifts, but steaks and foie gras are especially appreciated.

**WHAT??! I am not her dream dog?!? Well I never.

Dudes. We need to talk.

WHY didn't one of you tell me what was about to happen?! Not cool, ladies. Not cool.* I have to do all these boring things now, like "take it easy" and "relax" for the next few days. But my foster mom says I'm healing well and doing a really good job of not "messing with my junk", so she says I'll be back to my normal happy self in no time.

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*You all have a lot of explaining to do. YOU may have not like my hairy wrinkly balls, but I did. I liked them very much.

I don't know where I'm going, but I'm pretty sure its going to be AWESOME!!!!*

Also, I'm AMAZING because I have mastered the art of weasling out of my harness in about 45 seconds. Take that, Harry Houdini!!!

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*please note: it is the belief of the editors of this blog, aka, "Rufus' foster mom", that had Rufus known where he was going** he would not have been so damn excited.

**He is going to get neutered.

Rrrrroooar! I'm am MONSTER!!

The most awesome thing ever: EATING!!! nomnomnom

Alright, people, this is the big one:

BREAKFAST + DINNER.

Okay, well, I guess it is big "ones". Also, don't even get me started on where the heck LUNCH is (I SEE you eating it foster mom! You CAN'T fool me!!!) but I just cannot tell you how much JOY it brings me to eat TWO whole meals EVERY day!! It is SO AWESOME. I mean, yeah, I lose it a little over water, I make horrible high pitch squeals every time we got for a walk, and next week, I'll probably go into great depth on how freaking much I love to pee on that tree in the backyard, but man. Let me tell you. Eating is so awesome and I just CANNOT get enough. Ever.

The first few days I was in my foster home, I had a really bad cold. The people call it kennel cough, I call it "the horrible thing in my face that makes my nose stop working and snot pour everywhere". I was a little weirded out because I was in a brand new place*, I couldn't smell anything and I wasn't feeling so hot. So, for three days my foster mom hand fed me cans of this real fancy dog food called Grammy's Pot Pie. It stank real good but I barely ate anything. Because she did that for me, though, I knew that she cared about me and everything was going to be okay. Also, I think at one point she thought I was going to die. {whoops.}

Then.
I got better. And I could smell again. And out came the kibble. So. Much. Kibble.

And now. OMG. Every day. TWO times a day, I eat this really amazing dog food made from all kinds of tasty stuff (and none of that corn crap. People. Honestly! Stop feeding your dogs food with corn in it. It's gross.) AND they also sometimes mix in really stinky fishy wet food and every morning I get a WHOLE EGG, and they also give me fish oil supplements** and olive oil for my skin, and every once in a while my foster mom cuts up organic baby carrots and I eat those too.

{You would think missing 3/4 of my front teeth would make it hard for me to eat dry food. You would be wrong.}

I asked my foster mom to take a picture of my food with all good stuff in it, but she says "it looks like something died, was eaten by a hawk, and the regurgitated back up again. And then someone put an egg on it."

omg.

It is SO TASTY.

{GIVEITTOME.}

Because I'm super special, I get to eat in my crate. That way, Rollie and Opus don't have to worry that I'm eating too fast and will come eat their food, because they eat SO SLOW. Also, even though I love food (and I mean I. Love. Food), I don't have what the people call "food aggression". I'm a lover, not a fighter, you know? Come to think of it, I think that may be why I was so skinny when I lived on the streets. That, and a mutt will get real sick of half eaten chicken bones after a while. People of Philadelphia: do a homeless dog a favor and stop throwing your half eaten chicken bones on the street. They're everywhere but man oh man did I get real sick of 'em real quick. Hook a brother up with a steak every once in a while, will ya?

Also, because I am made of awesome, I have even learned to wait and not eat right out of the tupperware while my foster mom is scooping our food into our bowls, even if she walks away and leaves the top off!

AND - get this!! - I don't eat just at breakfast and dinner!! Sometimes, we all sit all cutely and stuff in a row and we each get a treat. I have to wait patiently and get my treat last (I know!! The HUMANITY!!), but I'm learning. My foster mom also says the word "gentle" every time she gives me a treat, so I am also learning not to take it from her with such...enthusiasm.

And I can jump and catch treats, too!

GOT IT! ***

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*I'm pretty sure the last home I lived in sucked hard core, so I didn't know what to expect, but, again, I don't like to talk about it too much, so no one really knows. And since I'm a dog, I already forgot about it because this home ended up being so awesome.

**but those make me fart. Which I don't mind, but I think my foster mom does, because I don't get them as much as I did in the beginning when my skin was really dry.

***Please don't judge my foster mom's kitchen floor. She knows it is ugly. She's working on it.

Amazing things I have eaten in the last 24 hours:

1. Lime Jell-O
2. A fly